silverthunder: (Sokka - Stop looking at me!)
Aphrael ([personal profile] silverthunder) wrote2014-02-02 02:06 pm

(no subject)

I keep forgetting to post here. Bleh. I'm mostly only active on tumblr now (, and that's because it's way easier than putting together actual thoughts and making a journal post. I can just reblog pictures and videos and other people's commentary. It's so addicting.

Recently got into a fight with my sister, who said quite a few hurtful things. Some of them may have been true. I don't fit in with my family well - they're all into sports and other things that non-geeks enjoy, and they all socialize quite easily. I'm awkward and don't like large groups and find sports dull and really only like anime and gaming and books. As a result, they do many things together that I have no interest in joining them for, such as large gatherings with people I don't know and sporting events and other such things. They make trips out to Calgary over weekends to visit family when I know that I need to hole up and have down time away from people. I find being around groups of others mentally draining, even when it's with those closest to me, and I spend a lot of time alone or just with Cody.

I suppose she's right to say that's selfish of me, because in the end, it IS about what I want. I don't have a lot of energy any more, and I'm selfish. I want to spend that energy on me, and the things that make me happy. I suppose I will regret this one day, when I'm old and alone and have nothing left, but right now I can't see that far into the future. And right now I'm tired.

Anyway, the argument was over a trip to Hawaii for my Dad's 70th birthday. Two of my sisters want to surprise him and my mom with a family trip. The idea was that we would cover Mom and Dad's costs as well as our own. Cody wasn't keen on going to Hawaii, so we decided to pass (but still chip in for my parents' trip). This pissed my sister off, and hence the fight.

It was kind of a one-sided fight, to be honest - I just let her say what she wanted. Through emails. At work, too. I cried. It was pretty humiliating.

Haven't talked to her, or my other sisters, since.

With that mildly depressing shit out of the way, I'll say that I'm back reading fanfic like crazy again, and possibly even attempting to write some. I'm also trying to work on some original stuff, but inspiration is pretty sparse. In any case, the reading of fanfic is happening. A lot. I mean, there's a lot to read, it's awesome. This fandom is right at its peak right now, so... yeah. I mean, fuck yeah.

The fandom is Shingeki no Kyoujin (Attack on Titan) and I'm reading Marco/Jean stuff. Anyone who's seen the series past episode thirteen will understand what I mean when I say that I cry myself to sleep over these two. Luckily, there are many wonderful fanfic writers to ease the pain.

I'm also playing Rune Factory 4, which is moderately addicting as well. I think I'm just about finished the first arc of the story. We'll see how it goes.